Cakes, bakes and the innocence of a child!

The greatest critic of my baking is my husband .. according to him I can never be consistent.... not even with baking a cake!! With due respects to my college professors... this is true! I can never bake the same cake! I really dont know the reason....even if I put the same ingredients and match each step.... I still dont repeat the same cake...!!

However... the person who encourages me the most with my baking is my 3 year old daughter. She is in a phase in life where bdays are incomplete without a cake .... so she ensures that I bake a cake for all the near (and not so near) ones) and dear ones. Recently... my nephew who stays in Pune celebrated his 14th bday.... so as the order was... a chocolate cake was promptly made at home in Chennai. My daughter couldnt even wait for the cake to cool... she ordered for a knife from poor old nani and cut the cake with her.. singing Happy Bday Anshul Bhaiya!! Till then things were very sweet... after eating her bit of cake and giving it to the rest of the people at home.. she came out with a wonderful line... "Oh ho Anshul Bhaiya kku kudukave illiye!!" (Oh ho we havent given it to Anshul Bhaiya!!). Thankfully poor old nani diverted her attention to something else and saved me from baking another cake (may be this time to either parcel it to Pune or parcel anshul Bhaiya to Chennai). Just a week before was my friends' bday. Promptly I was ordered by my daughter a day in advance to bake a cake for Yamuna Aunty. This time the order came with a small request too... "amma can I also bake it with you!!" I dint know how to react ... but I was probably the happiest person on earth when she said that..! Least did I think about the mess that was going to be created when she would help me to bake! Anyways... the sifting happened... with most of the flour mix falling out of the table and very less for baking...and so with great difficulty we managed to put the ingredients together and finally bake the cake. The moment she saw the cake.. she was thrilled... and overjoyed with the fact that she made a cake for Yamuna aunty. Her reaction overshadowed the mess that she created while baking the cake.

Anyways... while I may not like to bake cakes as often as my daughter wants (considering the fact that we Tamilians celebrate our Bdays twice in a year... one each as per the Gregorian Calendar and the Tamil Calender).... I have started enjoying baking more and more... not just because it has got my creative senses working all the time...more because it brings me to appreciate the innocence that children have in them. How I wish ... that as we grow up... we keep that little bit of childhood in ourselves and always stay positive in our thoughts....understand that things that bring us happiness will bring the same happiness to everyone.

Language... language and religion.... language and India!

Just yesterday I was reading this article in Indian Express on how one of the Islamic religious group in India considers Vande Mataram "unislamic" and how our poor dear home minister has taken it with a pinch of salt and how our opposition party in the Lok Sabha has condemned the same!
We Indians love the fact that we are a multicultural country and project ourselves a very tolerant country. It hurts me at times when I see a small island country like Sri Lanka taking a tough stand on their internal issues and giving it a full stop, but in India, we wont take a single such stand because thats not what India is about!! We would rather have few people being killed by the violence each day than many people losing their lives for that one last battle for lasting peace! Anyways....

Given the cultural diversity in our land, it is amazing how our constitution makers could come to conclusion on our national anthem ,national song and of course the national language - Hindi. My father was in the defense services and so I have travelled a lot mostly in the northern side of the Vindhyas. That is probably the reason why I discovered many languages and have come to respect the national language. I knew that down south, specially Tamil Nadu has never come to accept Hindi as our national language, for reasons that are best known to them. It was only after I settled down in Chennai, that it dawned onto me that the national language has no significance in this part of the country. One incident that shines in my mind almost instantly is the time when our former PM Atal Bihari Vajpayee addressed the UN on global terrorism (at a point of time when India and Pakistan were not in any peace making mood and 9/11 had changed the face of terrorism internationally). The speech was great (he is a good orator anyways),but none of the fellow tamilians around me appreciated the speech... reason it was in Hindi.. that too a little "Shudh Hindi" which were bouncers for them! The discussion between us started with how no one will understand the speech to how effective the speech would be as a result of the language... to personal comments like how I do not know thirukkural being a tamilian! Well.... This discussion made me realise that I am talking to a generation which had studied (or may not have studied at all) hindi in their school days just because it was a part of the curriculum and not giving it the due importance of being the National Language of our country!

Well... I believe that just by singing national anthem or calling ourselves Indian just because we were born in India, doesnt make us Indian at heart. Of course neither does knowing Hindi and not appreciating the other languages in our country. However, when we give so much importance to our constitution and the creators of the constitution ..... cant we give them respect by simply accepting what they have together mentioned as national identities in our constitution.
I believe, irrespective of the faith you follow, the language you speak, the part of country you live in, these national identities bond us into being Indians. Imagine how shameful, it could be for us if a national leader on an international arena isnt able to sing the national anthem...!

For me the national language, the national anthem and national song ... all are as important as the colour of my passport, because that is my identity in the international shores!

Rage....

RAGE.... I really never understood this word all this while and had always considered this as a sophisticated name for anger...!However, in the past few days I have constantly been confronted with this word, to an extent that I thought I should really understand this word beyond its dictionary meaning.
I read a few articles on the net and this is what I have understood ....

To many of us anger and rage is same, rage is just the next step to anger. Yes, it is. But we all know what causes us to get angry.. simple things like "My daughter did not listen to me so I am angry with her". But rage is different. Rage is a behavior that every person exhibits in some form. Rage is often used to denote hostile/affective/reactive aggression (as distinct from predatory/instrumental/proactive aggression). It denotes aggression where there is anger present, that is motivated by causing harm to others, and that is characterized by impulsive thinking and a lack of planning. This is a behavioral side that many would not like others to see, but does often persist in extreme situations.Rage tends to be expressed when a person faces a threat to their pride, position, status or dignity. Anger is a feeling that we all encounter from time to time, and frequently we experience it as a response to frustration, hurt, disappointment, and threats (real or imagined).
Frequently the underlying anger is related to a perceived loss of control over factors affecting our integrity—our beliefs and how we feel about ourselves. In some cases, the anger has to do with the inability to meet unrealistic expectations (our own or those who ha ve e xpe c ta tions of u s ) . Rage is a shame based expression of that anger. Rage i s the accumulation of unexpressed anger and perceived disrespectful transactions that after multiple “stuffings” finally flow to the surface.
In short, all of us at some point in life get angry and many carry it in their hearts. When there is no more place in the heart to carry that anger or move on with it ... rage takes over. So rage takes over each one of us at some point in life .. frequency and intensity differs from person to person.

That brings me to my next question on how do we deal with ourselves when we are in rage .. or when we are considered to be in rage. That is when I went through this nice article on dealing with rage.... http://www.cyquest.com/pathway/rage.html. I found this article answering a lot of questions. It sums up that crying away your rage is the best way to let go off your fears and frustrations. As grown ups we feel... its so childish to cry, but psychologically crying seems to be a healer for all the fears and irritations we have in us. Its one of the most natural instincts that we posses as human beings, and probably that is why an infant cries.... in order to show its dissatisfaction or to get attention.

So... to all my friends and people who may read this.... next time you find yourself in not so good situations and want to let go off it and move on... cry!! and let your anger and rage move out!

The power of one...

Last month a close friend of mine celebrated her 31st birthday. Her birthday brought me back some memories of bitter and sweet experiences in her life.
We both studied in the same college and shared the hostel room and so with each day we became very close friends and needless to say we admired each other ... she admired me for " how I can get into a mess,cry and yet come out of it and move on...." and I admired her for the sheer grit she had to take things in her stride! Till date she is one of the people I look up to when I find myself in a MESS!!
It was 10 years back when we finished college and found our careers in two different hotels. Our convocation was probably the last time we met in person, though we have been in touch through mails till now. I remember her as this very bubbly full of life person.. a darling of the entire college. She was envied by most of us, because she was a darling of the teachers,strong willed,good at academics and had a boyfriend whom the entire college was fond of. As fate would have it... this most loved couple of college, part their ways after they left college and both of them got married to different people and settled into marital bliss...!! That was my last contact with the guy.
Soon after her marriage and a rocking career in one of India's leading hotel chain, motherhood beckoned and she had a beautiful baby. Life seemed beautiful each day till her son turned 2 years old. My friend found herself in a very uncomfortable position, when she found out that her husband was cheating on her with an extra marital affair. Deeply hurt with no remorse or reconciliation in sight, my friend returned back to her parents place to find solace. She returned to this small town where career options were almost nil and society was not ready to accept her decision. But, this did not make her any weak.... she took what came by her, pulled herself up and joined an office to restart her career. Today after many years of that dreadful day, she is a composed lady, successful career woman and a doting single parent. Her son did go through the initial days of missing his father,specially during school days, but today this grown up boy is a happy child and does well in school. I agree with my friend when she says that she could not have done all this without the support from her parents... but for me she is a pillar of strength and her sheer grit to move on with life makes me admire and respect her more. Her experience in life has made me realize that we will always remember the good things in our lives .... but the bitterness and adversities we face, would only make us strong and not weaken us further.


Tough times don't last but tough people do.... this is very much true in this case. My salutations to people who withstand difficult situations and turbulent times to bring in a brighter future for them and their loved ones.

Barack Obama certainly deserves it....

When I first read this news on rediff.com, I was delighted and was wanting to share this with everybody. Well... I dont really know the reason why I was delighted may be its the charisma of this man called Barack Hussein Obama.

I thought my thoughts will be shared by all... but then I realised not all were happy about this decision of the Nobel Commitee. People believed it is too early for him to recieve such an honour. Not that I was shocked by this response but yes I was surprised. Surprised because, I felt he is one person whom the youth of today completely looks upto.

Many people questioned the award as Obama had not accomplished anything to be awarded such an honour... fair enough, but how many of the peace awardees have achieved what they had started? Peace and war are the sides of the same coin, peace and war exist side by side... It is not an achievement that needs to be awarded .. it has to be the intention and the will to achieve peace, that needs to be awarded. Not all the nobel peace winners have accomplished what they had set out for... but we still acknowledge their work as it has brought some amount of change in the society.

No One can dispute the fact that Barack Obama's vision is shared not only by the people of US but the entire world. His speech in Cairo might not have yielded great results... but it brought together the Americans and Muslims together in the heart of Muslim land. His decision to close the guatonamo bay prison and pulling out of the US army from Iraq are positive steps towards world peace. His initiative in bringing Russia and US on the same platform needs to be appreciated. His approach towards the Palestine Israel conflict needs to be appreciated....

As the Nobel Committe rightly puts it "Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future,". He may have drawn inspiration from the life of Mahatma Gandhi, but to use it in the most diplomatic manner in todays political life, is what makes him more admirable.

In his will, Albert Noble has mentioned that the nobel prize for peace should be awarded "to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses." also Unlike the other Nobel Prizes, which recognize completed scientific or literary accomplishment, the Nobel Peace Prize may be awarded to persons or organizations that are in the process of resolving a conflict or creating peace.

I dont think awarding Obama this coveted prize is wrong.... on a positive note it will bring in more confidence in him and respect to his values.

The idiot box and my daughter....!!

TV has today become an integral part of any individual's life. One just cant survive without it. It has become a neccessity than a luxury element in our lives.

When my daughter who is 3 years old now... started watching TV for more than 2 hours a day (not at a strench though)... I got really disturbed.... I have read these articles where doctors says No TV for more than 2 hours... blaah blaah blaah...!! But on a practical note.... how much of that becomes true.

I agree too much of TV is bad for a child.. but can we please define that too much...!! Too much of the stupid Saas Bahu seriels in hindi and family drama in Tamil.. (which invariably will have a scheming storyline)is bad not only for the child... but the entire family. Our seriel story writers need to seriously do something about their creative sense...but then thats their problem.

Coming back to my point... I dont think TV has been bad for my daughter. She watched TV from the time she turned 2 and initially started off with Nursery rhymes and gradually started watching Nick, Cartoon Network and currently is a fan of CBeebies. I would personally thank each of these channels for their programmes, Be it Dora and Little Krishna(Nick), Krishna series in Cartoon network, or almost all the episodes in CBeebies.

My daughter has a habit of listening to story before she takes a nap or goes to bed at night.... and Dora and her adventures have been such a great help for a story telling session. She loves adventures... and she also tries to build stories on those. Same thing with Little Krishna on nick, sometimes giving a picture to a popular charactar makes the stories so much more interesting. My daughter now is able to relate Bala Krishna Leela so well. When we say Kalinga... she has the right image in her mind... when we say dhenukasura....it was so difficult for her to picture it in her mind... but now she has a face she can relate to in the charctar and that makes my story telling so much more interesting to her.And CBeebies is a channel I just cant thank enough, Their charactars,seriels... each one them has taught new things to my daughter. Through "Teletubbies" she has learnt to use words like "Interesting", "Disappear","Special" and many more. Using them correctly in the sentence is amazing.

It is that period of her childhood.. where she has imaginary friends...when i ask my daughter.. who are your friends.. apart from the children she plays in the park.. she also adds charatars like, Krishna,Balaram,Madhu,Subala,Chaaru,Radha, Lalita and Visakha. All of hem were Krishna childhood friends...!!

And I could just go on and on about all the surprising things I hear from her. To cut it short, I'd just say in my opinion, the TV has been a great help to my daughter in increasing her Vocabulary as well as building her thoughts. I guess it is upto us what we show our kids and how we try to use them in our daily lives. I guess rather than telling the child NO TV... show them interesting stuff and let them also enjoy their childhood... after all this is when they can enjoy.... Once they enter the secondary schooling.. life will be gruellingly sick for them... (Dont we know that ! ).

Here's my three cheers to TV.. and a Thank you for helping my child ..!!

Do we all share this idea??

PCOS, me and my little angels

Yes .. you read it right PCOS.The first time when I heard that I almost thought I could never have a baby of my own. This is a story of how I coped with this syndrome and am a proud mother of two angels.

I got married at a very young age of 22 and so children were not in my priority list at that age. However, I was consulting an endocrinologist because I had Hyperthyroidism and was under medication for the same. Two years later during one such consultation, my endocrinologist pointed out the fact that people which harmonal imbalance generally have a problems conceiving and the fact that I was over weight made the matter only worse. and so she asked me to meet a Gynaec in the same hospital.

After this incident , My husband and I mutually decided to start trying for the baby. We went and met up with Dr. X who was considered to be one of the best known Gynaecs in the city and told her about our problem. as a routine, there were tests done on both of us and finally the reports suggested that I faced infertility problems. This Gynaec told us that she would first like to do a laproscopy and ensure that my uterus and ovaries and Fallopian Tubes are fine so that appropriate medications can be given. So one fine day I had my first laproscopy and all that my doc said was everything is fine and I shouldnt have a problem conceiving. I was then transferred to her subordinate who had to take care of me from there (without asking me if I was OK with that decision). So far so good

Days passed and became months and still there was no sign of conceiving. Every Month I would go to this hospital to check the growth of the eggs produced by my uterus and every month is was the same story.... the eggs werent growing healty enough for conception. Finally after 6 months we were told that I had polycystic ovaries and so they want to do some more harmonal tests on me, which I happily underwent. Another 7 months passed and we were still far away from conception. I was given different medication... tried combination of medications and we also went through a round of artificial insemination. But still there was no relief. By then my patience had worn off and I had litrally given up on conceiving. My husband was very supportive throughout this time and he told me to stop the treatment and was even ready to think about adopting a child. I went into mode of depression and started losing a lot of weight. At this time my sister in law asked me to take a second opinion on this issue and so we went to Apollo.

Here we met Dr. Y, who patiently heard my cry and saw my reports. She told me that one of my fallopian tubes was blocked and so she would like to do a laproscopy and clear that off and also because I had polycystic ovaries.I wasnt ready for this talk as the old days were flashing so badly that I told her "Please dont give me hopes.... if there isnt any. I dont wish to undergo any of these tests if they are not going to give me results". The professional that this doctor was.... she patiently heard me and let me cry my frustration out. She told me ... "Get your thyroid harmones in order and give me 6 months". As we say the world lives on hope...and so I gave another try and revive my hopes for having a baby of my own. This was May 2005 and for the next two months another endocrinologist was getting my thyroid under normal levels. In Aug 2005, I had my second laproscopy and was cleared off my blocked tube and the small cysts were punctured so that the ovaries can make healthy eggs. By this time My thyroid levels were normal and I had lost considerable weight. Dr. Y asked me to give conception a break till Sept and start trying from OCt. And so October came in. For the first time my sonologist was able to see healthy growing eggs in the ovaries and one of them matured at the right size and time. Came 23 Nov when we got our pregnancy report... and it was positive...! Finally I had conceived after 4 long years of getting pushed to extremes and going through bouts of frustrationand depression...Nothing on that day could make me sad... I was over joyed and thrilled!!

9 months of pregnancy passed off, my hhusband and I attended to lamaze classes and ensured that we prepared ourselves for the D Day and we were eagerly waiting for Aug 1st ... our due date for our first child.

22nd July .... a sharp stomach cramp made me rush to the hospital... only to be sent back as false labour. On July 23 , a vaginal discharge saw me getting admitted in the hospital. My doctor told me that if I dont get my pains by 24th morning they will induce labour... and so on July 24th ... when the pain hadnt started yet, I was induced with labour at 630 hrs. Throughout the labour my husband was with me supporting me and helping me with the breathing.... and around 1115 when my doctor said Push... I dint have the energy to push. With all the force I could muster at that time and with complete support from my husband and the crew of good support staff at apollo... I delivered my daughter.... at 1130. This day is the most important day in my life and my daughter is the most precious to me in the entire world.

Soon after... 3 years later in May we were blessed with a son. This time no jazzy tests .. no pre conception consultation, our son just happened. I never thought I could ever experience the same excitement with the delivery of my second child.... but as it is said... a mother can never discriminate between her children... I had the same excitement and the same worries while delivering my second baby, inspite of knowing what I should expect during the birthing process.

Today both of them are my precious..... and the angels in my life. To me they are the most beautiful creations on earth.

From someone... who thought she could never have a baby of her own... to someone who dotes on her two children.. I have come a big way.

My story is for all those wanna be mothers with PCOS... who think they can never become mothers. Unconditional belief in god and appropriate medical attention is all you need to bear healthy children.....

This is the story of PCOS , me and my two angels...!